Email – The End II y un beginning

Luego del último chat, escribí esto un poco antes, durante y después, el 6 de febrero:

From: Mafalda

To: Mi Bonito

You have no idea how it hurts when you hang up on me, and it seems to be your latest trend, you call or we talk on msn, and you decide when and how is over… like if half of the talk wasn’t me, is not only disrespectful but also hurtful and rude, and you do it to me all the time.

You never said “Mafalda give me time, please, I’ll contact you when I heal and we will restart what we planned”, the best thing you said was that it might (probably wouldn’t) but might happen in the future, and most of the time you said it was over. How am I supposed to read your mind and find that out? If you don’t let me in, I can’t know it.

Yes you are a control freak and no, you didn’t give me time to get over things, you just came back when your other plan didn’t work, so don’t say it like if you had been kind enough to give me that time, because we both know it didn’t happen that way. I just hate you can’t talk to me and tell me something so simple like “give me that time I need but you have my word I’ll be back and we will try it”, we fight all the time because the feelings are too damn strong and our characters are strong as well, and because let’s face it, you want things your way, only your way, I gave my opinion, was trejected, I tried to compromise, was rejected, I’m lost here… and on the meanwhile you hurt me with your words or sentences or attitudes, you overlook all my efforts, like if i had done nothing; like all couples, we need to work on it, because there is not a perfect couple, with time, this issues always surface, we were perfect the first 5 months, now, this is the real life, real problems, is up to us if we give up or solve them.

Baby, I put my life on your hands once and didn’t get what I felt I deserved, so my fears should be understood, and I didn’t even hear “give me time, I’ll be back”, you moved in with someone else and started a new life that didn’t include me, at all; now, lately I asked for time but always included you in my future. There is a big difference there, but you judge me so hardly, like if i was the biggest bitch, and I’m just a girl with a broken heart who glued it back to try to trust again but still was scared.

If you felt my email last night was mean or angry, I apologize, I was just terribly sad and destroyed and just felt couldn’t take anymore, not you or the amazing person you are and the guy i fell for, but they way you treat me or judge me sometimes. And finally all the times you said this was over finally hit me, I was trying to set you free if that was your wish, because you said we were over quite often, ignoring that is the most hurtful sentence you could say to me.

I wish I could have an answer for us, to see why all this shit happened to us, to the great couple we were, why can’t we just tell each other the sincere truth from the bottom of our hearts, work this out.

Are we over? I don’t know, somedays it seems like yes, somedays seems like not, I wish I could look into your eyes just once before deciding that, is hard to think that my last memory of you in person was you crying because you loved so much you couldn’t let me go. Is my love over? No, is my heart over you? no, hell no! am I ready to love someone new? don’t know, maybe not, do I see any hope for us? I don’t know, I can’t answer that on my own, I wish, deeply, aand I prayed for that, but isn’t just my call, and last night you sounded like if you you had made up your mind about us being over, and I’m crying at work while I type this so I should get going.

Su respuesta fue esta:

From: Mi Bonito

To: Mafalda

Yes we are over

Yo lo acepté, y como una asunto de magia, milagro o bendición, al día siguiente conocí a mi geek <3

Y me robó el corazón en menos de una semana…